First words in the early hours (1973)
Mira nascitur, non fit
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| Tuesday 23 January 1973 |
'SOFT... orange-bitten gleams from the guardian street lamps shafting the watery windows, reflected from a rapidly mottling mirror onto the surrounding, patchy whiteness. Weary clinkers topple in the grate and distant motors pass away into the night. Fairy folk scrub the skirting-boards. I am asleep... slipping gradually into a heavy-headed fathomless realm of undisturbed slumber; riding on motiveless reflections that flow through a distended unconscious...
'Suddenly a start, and momentary confusion, somewhere an involuntary pulse is breaking the sound barrier. Turning my head, I see E. She is awake and seems to have got out of bed. My eyes can just make out the look of pain unsettling her features... It has begun.'
These are the first words of four pages I wrote before dawn after E gave birth to Em. The narrative continues with a description of the trip to the hospital, preparations for delivery and my eventual exile to a waiting-room. Here are the final words:
'I am returned to the deserted waiting-room where I curl up in a corner and seek rest. It's not coming. I take a magazine and pore wearily over an article about life after death. I doze fitfully, beset by images of spiritual mediums in blue smocks;the name of Marie, or Jean Blashke, figures large. The settee on which I lie evidently resents my eleven stones and retaliates by thrusting iron bars and cushiony lumps into sundry spinal vertebrae.
Sometime after three, Midwife Cooper summons me - I learn that mother and baby are doing fine. Baby is big and baby is a girl. Baby Em ***, accordingly. 8 pounds 15 ounces. A double success. Something of a triumph, I feel.
'Yes.
'All in all, quite a night, I suppose...'
I placed the pages inside an envelope marked MIRA NASCITUR NON FIT. E was eighteen and I was nineteen, waiting to go up to Cambridge for the start of my first Michaelmas term.
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| Ste Thérèse |
*'Je veux passer mon ciel à faire du bien sur la terre... Après ma mort, je ferai tomber une pluie de *roses*.'
'These words of mine'
'...and great was the fall thereof'
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| '...great was the fall thereof' |
This is one page from an exercise book in which K proved herself to be an adept and diligent student of her Faith, at only five years of age (1985-6)
Our theme of words continues with K's illustrations of a story Our Lord told in his Sermon on the Mount:
[24] Every one that heareth these my words, and doth them, shall be likened to a wise man that built his house upon a rock, [25]And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and they beat upon that house, and it fell not, for it was founded on a rock.[26] And every one that heareth these my words, and doth them not, shall be like a foolish man that built his house upon the sand, [27] And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and they beat upon that house, and it fell, and great was the fall thereof. [Matthew 7]How tragic for all concerned that so many of us have followed the example of the foolish man in Verse 26. 'Great was the fall thereof'. Indeed.
23rd January 2019: addendum from our sister blog, Rosarium Aureum: see St Louis-Marie de Montfort.
TRAITE DE LA VRAIE DEVOTION A LA SAINTE VIERGE
St Louis-Marie de Montfort
Ah! combien a-t-on vu de cèdres du Liban et d'étoiles du firmament tomber misérablement et perdre toute leur hauteur et leur clarté en peu de temps! D'où vient cet étrange changement? Ce n'a pas été faute de grâce, qui ne manque à personne, mais faute d'humilité: ils se sont crus capables de garder leurs trésors; ils se sont fiés et appuyés sur eux-mêmes; ils ont cru leur maison assez sûre, et leurs coffres assez forts pour garder le précieux trésor de la grâce, et c'est à cause de cet appui imperceptible qu'ils avaient en eux-mêmes (quoiqu'il leur semblât qu'ils s'appuyaient uniquement sur la grâce de Dieu), que le Seigneur très juste a permis qu'ils ont été volés, en les délaissant à eux-mêmes.
A Little Song
or
Little did we dream...
Fat little, plump little, pink little, chubby little,
Spotty little, grotty little, messy little, grubby little,
Dreamy little, blithe little, sweet little, happy little,
Lovely little, blithe little, silly little, dappy little,
Naughty little, bad little, wicked little, grumpy little,
Milky little, lazy little, queer little, dumpy little...
Where the babe that e'er was sweeter
Than our little, new little, dear little Peter?
© PB c1982
© PB c1982
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| Angelus Dei |
When
E's time drew near in Autumn, the sense of expectation in the household
mounted. The decision not to have an ultrasound scan meant that no-one
knew if baby number three would be a third daughter or a first-born son.
A
home delivery had been planned and duly took place under the watchful
eye of the superb Community midwife. The little conquering hero made a
fairly rapid and dramatic entry centre-stage to the immense delight of
all present. His mother joyfully proclaimed:
'It's a little boy!'
The picture is a reminder that the 2nd of October was and is the Feast of the Holy Guardian Angels.
For He hath given His angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways.
Quoniam angelis suis mandavit de te, ut custodiant te in omnibus viis tuis. [Psalm 90,11]
See that you despise not one of these little ones, for I say unto you , that their angels in Heaven always see the face of my Father who is in Heaven.
Videte ne contemnatis unum ex his pusilli : dico enim vobis quia angeli eorum in coelis semper vident faciem Patris mei, qui in coelis est. [Matthew 18, 11]
Guardian Angels
Protection from Drowning: T
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| Author's treasured gift from T. |
Suddenly, a shout from P rings out:
'Dad! What's T doing?'
D turns to look. Horror of horrors. Little T is purposefully toddling over to one of the pools of water left by the outgoing tide next to a nearby groyne. These pools can be deceptively deep as the sand is scoured out and away by the tide.
D sprints over to the pool. Almost in slow-motion now, T is bending over the water with his bucket and... he stumbles forward. D arrives just as T's head disappears under the water. He grabs the scruff of his T-shirt and hauls him out. Sea-soaked and blithely bedraggled, T spits out a mouthful of water and then laughs, quite unfazed by his brush with the sirens of the deep.
The sand-side of the groyne pool was very steep and the water was a good foot deeper than T's height. It could have ended very differently but for several, alert Angeli.. D.G.
Protection from the Sword: Ed
D is at work and the three brothers (all of primary school age) are at home under the supervision of a neighbour. It's a sunny afternoon and the boys are playing in the garden on the climbing frame. They are climbing up one side of the frame, crawling across the top ladder and then descending prestissimo on the slide.
What could possibly go wrong?
An eye-witness later described the scene. As
part of the game, Ed, a battle-hardened six year-old, I believe, had decided he needed a weapon for the hero's part he had
adopted. To him, it was perhaps Gandalf's great Glamdring or
the mighty Andùril of Aragorn. To the less imaginative eye, it might have
looked like a short length of harmless metal pipe.
Ed fearlessly scaled the Bridge of Khazad-dûm and triumphantly leapt onto the slide to make good his escape. Durin's Bane, however, had one last evil stroke to play and he caused one end of Ed's sword (the pipe) to stick fast in the ground at the foot of the slide. The other end, although blunt, could easily have skewered our little hero.
Ed fearlessly scaled the Bridge of Khazad-dûm and triumphantly leapt onto the slide to make good his escape. Durin's Bane, however, had one last evil stroke to play and he caused one end of Ed's sword (the pipe) to stick fast in the ground at the foot of the slide. The other end, although blunt, could easily have skewered our little hero.
In the event, the intervention of his Angelus Dei diverted the weapon's mortal thrust. He sustained a superficial but nasty graze that was healed by Elfin lore at the Whittington Lothlôrien. D.G.
PS: The Tolkien films had, of course, not appeared at the time of Ed's tale of combat. The Lord of the Rings volumes had, however, been in the family a number of years. For more on Tolkien, see the seventh entry (the one after the next)
From Angels to Saints: Es
St Peter
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| The Tears of St Peter |
'At the going down of the sun, and in the morning', my gaze falls on my patron saint, Petrus. In fact, he keeps a special eye on three members of the family (without counting my paternal grandfather and my father's half-brother).
The painting hangs in my bedroom and is known as 'The Tears of Saint Peter'. It portrays Peter after the betrayal of the one he loved most, showing his regret and remorse. His tears have caused furrows in his cheeks.
Here is an excerpt from the Passion:
[33] And Peter answering said to him: Although all shall be scandalized min thee, I will never be scandalized. [34] Jesus said to him: Amen. I say to thee, that in this night, before the cock crow, thou wilt deny me thrice. [35] Peter saith to him: Yea, though I should die with thee, I will not deny thee. [Matthew 29]Despite these proud words, Peter betrays Jesus three times.
[74] Then he began to curse and to swear that he knew not the man. And immediately the cock crew. [75] And Peter remembered the word of Jesus which he had said: Before the cock crow, thou wilt deny me thrice. And going forth, he wept bitterly. [Matthew 29]
St Esther
The painting was given to me by Esther Clarke who was the housekeeper for the church of Corpus Christi in Maiden Lane, Covent Garden. It is inscribed and signed by her on the back. Esther had a kind, beautiful soul which is why her name will live on in the family. It's also why I have tentatively attached a little 'sancta' to her name. 'Esther' comes from a word meaning 'star' and she is a 'type' in the Old Testament who has her 'antitype' in Mary, the Mother of the Saviour, one of whose manytitles is Stella Maris, 'Star of the Sea'.The painting is the work of Domenikos Theotokopoulos ('El Greco')and dates from 1585. The original painting hangs in the El Greco Museum, Toledo.
A Tolkien Treasure Trove
Apprentice Archivist: A
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| Tolkieniana April 2018 |
The picture above shows a selection of books and games by or about Tolkien. The collection now has an apprentice archivist and curator, AHB. He has risen to the challenge and has been adding to the collection (as well as covering his bedroom walls with Middle Earth maps and memorabilia).
My own interest in Tolkien began was I was 11 years old and was inspired by my cousin, RW. In summer 1966, I came down to London from Warwickshire to spend a fortnight with my cousins who lived in a five bedroom council flat in Hampstead. RW was a fascinating man who left a lasting impression on me. He worked for St Dunstan's (helping blind servicemen) but had many, varied hobbies and interests (read, passions). These included:
- the study of Greek, Latin and (towards the end of his life) Hebrew; searching for ancient tomes in Portobello Road and in sundry antiquarian bookshops;
- amateur photography, developing prints in his own dark room at home;
- collecting tobacco pipes;
- musicology (he played the piano and was the only man I ever met who could hum a tune and accompany himself with his own whistle);
- theology, liturgy and all things related (he was a convert in the heyday of the 20th century Catholic renaissance)
- story-telling (I still recall his tale of 'elementals' as we walked in the dark along the canal towpath from Hartshill to Mancetter.
- one daughter who married a South African concert pianist;
- a second who was a Latin scholar but whose dissertation at university was on Bossuet; she became a religious sister;
- a third daughter who was a vivacious young rebel of the sixties;
- a son who had poems read on the BBC and was a humorist and story-teller;
- a second son who became a virtuoso on the recorder family of instruments.
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| Vietnamese Ent (Surrey 2018) |
Now this isn't going to hurt at all
Meningitis and more angelic intervention
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| Le marché, Roanne 1968 |
It was a school exchange trip, scheduled to last three weeks over the Easter holidays. New friends, new experiences, French food. Perhaps even pick up a little bit of French. What could possibly go wrong?...
One week later, it's Saturday. Me voici, seated in the Café des Promenades, chatting with une demoiselle vraiment enchantante. Rich, curling tresses of dark brown hair; a mysterious (or was it mystified?) gaze fringed by super-exotic eyelashes; tziganesque earrings; full, Gallic pouting lips... a regular Carmen.
Suavely (picture Johnny English), I ordered aniseed cocktails to toast the future of our little entente cordiale. Alas, my outre-Manche musings were interrupted by my French penfriend's reminder that maman's lunch awaited us. I bade farewell to Carmen with a time-honoured bise and made to get up from our table.
I could hardly stand. Perhaps Cupid's dart had scored a direct hit below the belt. No, something even more serious was happening. Severe pain meant I could barely walk back to 19 rue Raspail where my French family had a patisserie and bar.
'Des courbatures', suggested my penfriend. This was small consolation, even had I known what it meant. (It's muscle ache, after unaccustomed exercise).
His mother was worried and asked me
'Mais qu'est-ce que tu as, Peter?'
I groped unsuccessfully for the word flu in French. Finally, I tried a bit of franglais:
'L'influenzie, peut-être', I ventured, doubtfully.
Her mystified expression disappeared when her son explained to her:
'Il veut dire la grippe, maman'.
I went to bed with un grog (hot milk and cognac) and as I undressed, I began to shiver so violently and for so long that I thought my teeth might drop out. I have only the dimmest memories of a catatonic night of chronic headache. The next morning, I was shaken by Michel ('Jojo') who had been brought in because he had the best English of the French boys.
'Peter. You want that I send for the doctor?'
I made a mute, nodding movement, noting the French construction he had employed in his English question. I have no more memories from that day apart from a sensation of being wheeled along endless, dark corridors. I was later told that they had contacted the police in order to find a doctor. It was a Sunday, after all. He immediately ordered an ambulance to take me straight to hospital.
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| La table de nuit. L'hôpital de Roanne PB 1968. |
'Now this isn't going to hurt at all...'
I was manhandled into a fetal position, and while the burliest of the gang held me fast, the chief druid administered his awful rite. A lumbar puncture. Look it up, if you have the nerve...
My beautiful, eldest sister B arrived one day to accompany me back to Blighty. She was a fully qualified nurse and reasonably happy in French, having lived for eight years in Aleppo, Syria. We travelled in a sleek Citroën ambulance back up to Orly, lunching en route on the banks of the mighty Loire river.
During my letters home, I had once noted that the one thing I was really, seriously missing in France was a 'fry up'. My wonderful mother duly obliged for my first meal once I reached home, at tea time. Tomato sauce included.
Home at last and back to civilisation (humour britannique, mes amis).
I never knew then that I would later spend 12 years in a second career giving lectures and guided tours in French. My groups were fascinated by this account of my first trip to la Patrie. I always finished by thanking them profusely and explaining that all my tours for French visitors were offered entirely free of charge.** French doctors and nurses had, after all, saved my life.*
But I should always be thankful to mon ange gardien. D.G.
*PS: Some years prior to my illness, my nephew contracted meningitis while he was a baby. He survived with serious brain damage and partial paralysis but died a few years later. The cemetery where he and his parents are buried has a fine view of Ben Nevis nearby. RIP.
**PPS: The French were generously and unfailingly gallant in appreciating this example of the celebrated humour Britannique.PPS: Before I left Roanne, I was presented with a lavishly illustrated volume entitled Département de la Loire. The photo at the beginning of this post is copied from the book and shows Le marché devant l'hôtel de ville de Roanne.
Les Misérables: Miserere mei, Deus
Apart from sitting my Finals and a enduring a heatwave...
... one of my most vivid memories from 1976 in Cambridge was our looking forward to Les Misérables, a radio dramatisation which began at just after 9 : 00 pm on Sunday evenings. I was and remain a big fan of radio drama, preferring it as a general rule to someone else's imaginings on a TV or film screen.
Three years in Richmond Road and then a short stay in a flat nearby in Huntingdon Road.
Here are images of the pages from the Radio Times, archived online.
Beginning on Sunday the 9th of May 1976, the first of sixteen episodes.
Here is the cast list:Here is a link to the archived recording: Les Misérables.
Miserere mei, Domine
Both deede and dome to have deserved blame
I am posting here a poem (with annotations) which forms part of a study of Robert Southwell on a proposed sister blog, Mary's English Dowry. I have included it under the Family tab on this site because of the particular relevance it has.
David's Peccavi
In eaves sole sparowe sitts not more alone
Nor mourning Pelican in desert wilde
Then sely I that solitary mone
From highest hopes to hardest happ exild
Sometime o blissfull tyme was vertues meede [5]
Ayme to my thoughtes guide to my word and deede.
But feares now are my pheares grief my delight
My teares my drinke my famisht thoughtes my bredd
Day full of Dumpes nurce of unrest the nighte
My garmentes gives a bloody feild my bedd [10]
My sleape is rather death then deathes allye
Yet kild eith murdring pangues I cannot dye
This is the change of my ill changed choise
Ruth for my rest, for comforts cares I finde
To pleasinge tunes succeedes a playninge voyce [15]
The doleful Eccho of my waylinge minde
Which taught to know the worth of Vertues joyes
Doth hate it self for lovinge phancies toyes.
If wiles of witt had overwrought my will,
Or sutle traynes misledd my steppes awrye [20]
My foyle had founde excuse in want of skill,
Ill deede I might though not ill dome denye.
But witt and will muste nowe confesse with shame,
Both deede and dome to have deserved blame
I phancy deem'd fitt guide to leade my waie [25]
And as I deem'd I did pursue her track
Witt lost his ayme and will was phancie's pray
The rebell wonne the ruler went to wracke.
But now sith phancye did with follye end,
Witt bought with losse will taught by witt will mend. [30]
Notes
[Title] Davids Peccavi: 'peccavi' means 'I have sinned'. David, second king of Israel, fell into the sins of adultery with Bathsheba and the murder of Urias, her husband. His contrition was so sincere that God pardoned him. His example and his words as handed down in several psalms have served as a model and inspiration for all penitents.[ll1-2] sole sparowe/Pelican: Sparrows are invariably found in busy little flocks, interacting with each other. A lone sparrow would accordingly be very miserable in his solitude, deprived of the presence of his fellows. Similarly, a pelican is a water bird and would be miserable in the waterless desert, mourning the absence of his river or pond. There is also here a reference here to a prayer for one in affliction: the fifth penitential psalm.
[7] I am become like to a pelican of the wilderness: I am like a night raven in the house. [8] I have watched, and am become as a sparrow all alone on the housetop. [Psalm 101][l3] sely: Deserving of pity or sympathy; pitiable, miserable, ‘poor’; helpless, defenceless. 1551 R. Robinson tr. T. More Vtopia sig. Rviii But thies seilie poore wretches be presently tormented with barreyne & vnfrutefull labour.
[l3] mone: intransitive. To lament, grieve, moan, mourn.
[l4] happ: The chance or fortune that falls to a person; (one's) luck, lot; (also) an instance of this. Frequently modified by good (also bad, evil, etc.). 1591 Troublesome Raigne Iohn i. sig. D3v 'No redresse to salue our awkward haps.'
[l5] meede: meed - In early use: something given in return for labour or service; wages, hire; recompense, reward, deserts; a gift. Later: a reward or prize given for excellence or achievement; a person's deserved share of (praise, honour, etc.). Now literary and arch. 1590 Spenser Faerie Queene i. ii. sig. B8 A Rosy girlond was the victors meede.
[ll5-6]: There was formerly a time (oh happy time!) when the aim of my thoughts and the guide of words and actions was to obtain the prize of virtue.
[l7] pheares: fere - A companion, comrade, mate, partner; whether male or female;
[l9] Dumpes: A fit of melancholy or depression; now only in plural: Heaviness of mind, dejection, low spirits. A mournful or plaintive melody or song;
[l9] nurce: nurse - That which nourishes or fosters some quality, condition, etc. Also: a place that nurtures or produces people of a specified type. Now literary and rare. 1526 W. Bonde Pylgrimage of Perfection iii. sig. CCiiii Obedience..is the helthe of faithfull soules, the nourse of all vertue.
[l10] gives: gyves - A shackle, esp. for the leg; a fetter. 1600 E. Fairfax tr. Tasso Godfrey of Bulloigne v. xlii. 83 Hands..Not to be tide in giues and twisted cords.
[l11] allye: A relative, a relation; a kinsman or kinswoman. Now chiefly hist.1597 Shakespeare Romeo & Juliet iii. i. 109 This Gentleman the Princes neere Alie.
[l13] change: There are several senses available, eg: 1) The action of substituting one thing for another. 2) Death, considered as a substitution of one state of existence for another. Obsolete.1611 Bible (King James) Job xiv. 14 All the dayes of my appointed time will I waite, till my change come. 3) The balance that is returned to the buyer when something is paid for with an amount greater than its price. The misery described in the second stanza is the result of replacing 'vertues joyes' (l15) with his sinful desires. This change has led to the death of his former peace of mind. Finally, in exchanging (paying) virtue's prize to obtain his lust's desire, he receives by way of change the misery he describes.
[l14] Ruth: Matter for sorrow or regret; occasion of sorrow or regret. Obsolete.Mischief; calamity; ruin. Obsolete.Sorrow, grief, distress; lamentation. Obsolete. 1591 Spenser tr. Petrarch Visions ii, in Complaints sig. Z2 O how great ruth and sorrowfull assay, Doth vex my spirite with perplexitie.
[l15] playninge: That plains; plaintive, mourning, lamenting; (formerly also) †expressing a grievance, uttering a complaint (obsolete).
[l16] waylinge: wailing, expressing lamentation.
[l19] witt: The faculty of thinking and reasoning in general; mental capacity, understanding, intellect, reason. arch. 1600 Shakespeare Midsummer Night's Dream iv. i. 203 I haue had a dreame, past the wit of man, to say; what dreame it was.
[l20] sutle: Of behaviour, words, an action, etc.: characterized by slyness or treachery; intended to deceive, delude, or entrap someone.
[l20] traynes: train - Treachery, guile, deceit, trickery; prevarication. An act or scheme designed to deceive or entrap, a trick, stratagem, artifice, wile. Also: a lie, a false story. A trap or snare for catching wild animals. Also in figurative contexts. Now rare (arch. and poet. in later use). 1590 Spenser Faerie Queene i. vi. sig. F5 Thou cursed Miscreaunt, That hast with knightlesse guile and trecherous train Faire knighthood fowly shamed.
[l21] foyle: A repulse, defeat in an onset or enterprise; A disgrace, stigma.
[l22] dome: Personal or private judgement, opinion.The faculty of judging; judgement, discrimination, discernment. Obsolete.
[l25] phancy: Delusive imagination; hallucination; an illusion of the senses. Caprice, changeful mood; an instance of this, a caprice, a whim. Amorous inclination, love. Obs. 1600 Shakespeare Merchant of Venice iii. ii. 63 Tell me where is fancie bred. ‘Something that pleases or entertains’ (Johnson).
Word order: 'I judged (my) fancy a fit guide to lead my way.'
[l26] her: 'phancy' or the object of his fancy (for David, Bathsheba).
[l27] pray: prey
[l28] wracke: Damage, disaster, or injury to a person, state, etc., by reason of force, outrage, or violence; devastation, destruction.
[l29] sith: since
[l30]: One possible paraphrase is: I have paid dearly for greater understanding ('wit') through my loss (allowing sin victory); my will has been instructed by this understanding; (and so) my will and my wit will mend.
According to traditional teaching, the three powers of the soul are: memory, understanding ('wit') and will.
Saint Peters Complaynte
How can I live that have my life deny'de
The Tears of Peter. After El Greco.
What can I hope that lost my hope in feare
What trust to one that trewth it self defyde
What good in him that did his god forsweare
O synne of synnes of evells the very worste [5]
O synfull wretch of synners most accurste
I vaunted erst though all his frendes had fayl'd
Alone with Christe all fortunes to have tr'de
And loe I craven first of all was quaild
Excellinge none but in Untrewth and pride [10]
Such distance is betwene high wordes and deedes
In proof the greatest vaunter seldome speedes
If tyrans bloody thretts had me dismay'd
Or smart of cruell torments made me yelde
There had bene some pretence to be afray'de [15]
I shoul have fought before I lost the feilde
But o infamous foyle a maydens breath
Did blowe me downe and blast my soule to death.
Was I to stay the Churche a Chosen rocke
That with so soft a gale was overthrowen [20]
Was I cheife pastour of the fa'thfull flocke
To guide their soules that murdred thus my owne
A rocke of ruyne not a reste to staye
A pastour not to feede but to betraye.
Could servile feare of rendering natures dewe [25]
Which grouth in yeres was shortly like to clayme
So thrall my love that I should thus eschewe
A vowed death and myself so faire an ayme
Dye, dye disloyal wretch thy life detest
For saving thyne throw hast forsworn the best [30]
Was life so deare and Christ become so base
I of so greate god of so small accounte
That Peter needs must followe Judas race
And all the jewels in Cruelty surmounte
Yet Judas deemed thirtye pence his price [35]
I worse then he for nought deny’d him thrice
I once designed Judge to loose and byndeWhere was the hart that did so little feare
Malchus. JJ Tissot. Brooklyn Museum
The armed troupes that did him apprehended
Where was the sworde that stroke off Malchus eare
Where was the faith of Christie’s professed frende [40]
O Adams childe it was a selye Eve
That thee of faith and force did thus bereave
Now pleade at mercyes barr as guilty thrall
Doves sonne was once to me for name assign'd [45]
My stony name now better sutes my fall
My othes were stones my cruell tonue the slynge
My god the marke at which my spite did flynge
Were all the Jewesh tyrannyes too fewe
To glutt thy hungry lookes with his disgrace [50]
That thow more malice then they all must shewe
And spitt thy poyson in thy makers face
Didst thowe to spare his foes putt up thy sworde
To brandish now thy tongue against thy lorde
Is this thy best deservinge maysters meede [55]
Is this the wage he earn’d with all toyle
And didn’t thow vow thy helped at every neede
Thus at the first encounter to recoyle
O impious tongue no tongue but vipers stinge
That could with cursing othes forswear thy kinge [60]
O tongue the first that did his godhedd sounde
How couldn’t thow utter such detestinge words
That every word was to his hart a wounde
And lawnced him deeper than a thowsand swordes
What Jewish race, yea what infernall sprite [65]
Could have disgorg’d against him greater spite
With mercy, Jesu, measure my offence,
Lett deepe remorse thy due revenge abate
Lett tears appease when trespas doth incense
Lett myldnes temper thy deserved hate [70]
Lett grace forgive lett love forgett my fall
With feare I crave with hope I humbly call
Notes
These 12 stanzas are a shorter and earlier version of a later 132 stanza version first printed in 1595. Peter's denial of Christ through fear would have a particular relevance and poignancy in sixteenth century England when a tyrannical regime, determined to eradicate Catholicism, was determined to use fear as a weapon against Catholics remaining faithful to their baptismal vows.[Background in Scripture]: After the Last Supper, Jesus explains to His disciples:
[31] Then Jesus said to them: All you shall be scandalized in me this night. For it is written: I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep of the flock shall be dispersed. [32] But after I shall be risen again, I will go before you into Galilee. [33] And Peter answering, said to him: Although all shall be scandalized in thee, I will never be scandalized. [34] Jesus said to him: Amen I say to thee, that in this night before the cock crow, thou wilt deny me thrice. [35] Peter saith to him: Yea, though I should die with thee, I will not deny thee. And in like manner said all the disciples. [Matthew 26]After His agony in the garden of Gethsemane, Jesus was betrayed by Judas, His disciple, into the hands of His enemies.
[57] But they holding Jesus led him to Caiphas the high priest, where the scribes and the ancients were assembled. [58] And Peter followed him afar off, even to the court of the high priest. And going in, he sat with the servants, that he might see the end.[Matthew 26]
[69] But Peter sat without in the court: and there came to him a servant maid, saying: Thou also wast with Jesus the Galilean. [70] But he denied before them all, saying: I know not what thou sayest. [71] And as he went out of the gate, another maid saw him, and she saith to them that were there: This man also was with Jesus of Nazareth. [72] And again he denied with an oath, I know not the man. [73] And after a little while they came that stood by, and said to Peter: Surely thou also art one of them; for even thy speech doth discover thee. [74] Then he began to curse and to swear that he knew not the man. And immediately the cock crew. [75] And Peter remembered the word of Jesus which he had said: Before the cock crow, thou wilt deny me thrice. And going forth, he wept bitterly.[Matthew 26][l1] my life: Jesus, 'the way, the truth and the life' [John 14, 6].There may also be reference to teh supernatural life of the soul: cf l18: '...blast my soule to deathe'.
[l7] vaunted: vaunt - To boast or brag; to use boastful, bragging, or vainglorious language.Fairly common c1600; now rare or Obsolete.
[l7] erst: Earliest, soonest, first in order of time.
[l9] loe: lo
[l9] quaild: quailed: To quail: Of courage, hope, faith, etc.: to fail, give way, become faint or feeble. Now rare.
[l12] speedes: to speed - intransitive. Of persons: To succeed or prosper; to meet with success or good fortune; to attain one's purpose or desire. Now arch.
[l13] tyrans: tyrant's (or tyrants')
[l14] smart: Sharp, often intense, physical pain
[l17] foyle: Foil - A repulse, defeat in an onset or enterprise; a baffling check. arch. A disgrace, stigma. Obsolete. The cause of (one's) defeat or failure. Obsolete.
[l17] maydens breath: the words uttered by the maidservants as recounted by the evangelists (see eg Matthew 26, 69-71, cited above]
[l19] stay: v transitive. To support, sustain, hold up (a person or thing). 1590 Spenser Faerie Queene i. vi. sig. F4 And in his hand a Iacobs staffe, to stay His weary limbs vpon.
[l23] stay: n. A thing on which something else rests; a support or prop for holding or steadying something.
[l25] rendering natures dewe: rendering unto nature her due, ie dying.
[l26] grouth: growth.
[l27] thrall: arch. transitive. To bring into bondage or subjection; to deprive of liberty; to hold in thraldom, enthrall, enslave; to take or hold captive.
[l28] A vowed death: a reference to Peter's words:
[35] Peter saith to him: Yea, though I should die with thee, I will not deny thee.[l32] accounte: With that-clause and to-infinitive. To calculate or reckon, to conclude. Obsolete.
[l37] hart: heart
[l39] Malchus: A reference to Peter's reaction when Christ's enemies sought to seize him inn the garden of Gethsemane:
[10] Then Simon Peter, having a sword, drew it, and struck the servant of the high priest, and cut off his right ear. And the name of the servant was Malchus.[11] Jesus therefore said to Peter: Put up thy sword into the scabbard. The chalice which my Father hath given me, shall I not drink it?[l41] a selye Eve: this is a reference to the maidservant whose questions frightened Peter. 'selye' means: Insignificant, trifling; mean, poor; feeble. Often of the soul, as in danger of divine judgement.
[l43-48]: At Cesarea Philippi, Christ asked his disciples '..whom do you say that I am?' Peter replied and Christ's response provides a key to understanding this verse:
[16] Simon Peter answered and said: Thou art Christ, the Son of the living God. [17] And Jesus answering, said to him: Blessed art thou, Simon Bar-Jona: because flesh and blood hath not revealed it to thee, but my Father who is in heaven. [18] And I say to thee: That thou art Peter; and upon this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. [19] And I will give to thee the keys of the kingdom of heaven. And whatsoever thou shalt bind upon earth, it shall be bound also in heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt loose upon earth, it shall be loosed also in heaven. [Matthew 16][l44] thrall: one whose liberty is forfeit; a captive. Peter stands condemned of cowardice in the face of the enemy, of lying, of betraying his friend and of treason against his Lord and King. Found guilty, he stands before the bar of the court and can only plead for mercy from his judge.
[l45] Doves sonne: see Matthew 16, 17 above: 'Simon Bar-Jona' means Simon son of Jonah; Jonah means 'dove' or 'pigeon'.
[l46] My stony name: At the beginning of Christ's public ministry, Andrew brought his brother Peter to meet the Messiah:
[42] And he brought him to Jesus. And Jesus looking upon him, said: Thou art Simon the son of Jona: thou shalt be called Cephas, which is interpreted Peter. [John 1]'Cephas' means 'rock' in Aramaic and becomes 'Peter' through Greek and Latin. The idea of a rock recalls the parable of the man who built his house on a rock:
[24] Every one therefore that heareth these my words, and doth them, shall be likened to a wise man that built his house upon a rock, [25] And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and they beat upon that house, and it fell not, for it was founded on a rock.[Matthew 7][l47] othes: oaths. Peter had sworn before Christ (effectively an oath before God) that he would not deny Him even if were to cost him his life. After denying Him three times, he began to curse and swear that he knew him not.
[l48] marke: A target, butt, or other object set up to be aimed at with a missile or projectile. Hence also: a person or animal targeted by an archer, spear-thrower, etc. Also in figurative contexts. 1535 Bible (Coverdale) Lament. iii. 12 He hath bent his bowe, and made me as it were a marck to shute at.
[l53] putt up thy sworde: See note to [l39] above.
[l55] maysters meede: master's reward
[l61] O tongue the first that did his godhedd sounde: a reference to Peter's confession of faith at Cesarea Philippi:
[16] Simon Peter answered and said: Thou art Christ, the Son of the living God.[Matthew 16][l64] lawnced: lanced, speared.
[l65] sprite: spirit
[l69] trespas: A transgression; a breach of law or duty; an offence, sin, wrong; a fault.
[l69] incense: To inflame with wrath, excite or provoke to anger, make angry, enrage, exasperate. 1596 Spenser Second Pt. Faerie Queene v. iii. sig. O7v Much was the knight incenst with his lewd word.
