To be bonere and buxum in bedde and at borde : an Anglo-French Interlewd

The following post contains a recent  exchange of emails with my learned French friend GH who has featured previously on this blog when we were considering Knoxonian Pentelopes. 

PB to GH

Marriage ceremony from BL Royal 10 E IX, f. 195. Picryl.com.

Without extending this email unduly, I would like to share with you a beguiling example of the sorts of discoveries that can be made when seeking a solution to a challenging text. Consider the following (and have a crack at translating into French the highlighted words):

"Quatre choses font un traité de mariage : la recherche des parties, les promesses de l’avenir, la donation des corps, et l’accord des articles proposés."

I was reasonably happy with the first two things – but how are we to translate la donation des corps in concise and "appropriate" language?

I thought I might draw inspiration from the wording used in the traditional Catholic (mediaeval) ceremony. I was fascinated to read the following :

The following is extracted from William Robert Brownlow, ‘Notes on a Ms. Copy of the Sarum Missal’, The Downside Review XIII (July 1894): 137-138:
 

‘The “Ordo ad faciendum sponsalia” differs in some respects from that given by Mr. Maskell in “ Monumenta Ritualia.” The rubric says:

“Let the man and woman stand at the door of the church or in front of the Church, before God, the priest and the people. Let the man stand at the right hand of the woman, and the woman at the left of the man. The reason is because Eve was formed from a rib out of the left side of Adam.” The questions concerning impediments are asked in the mother tongue. If no impediments be alleged, the priest shall inquire concerning the dowry of the woman, but not until the bans have been published three times. The rest is much the same as that quoted above. The bride says:

“I N. take thee N. to my weddede hosebande, for better for wors, for richer, for pourer, in sekenesse and in helthe to be bonere and buxum in bedde and at borde, tyl dethe us departe. And thereto I plyth thee my treuthe.”

(Footnote: The words to be said by the Bride and Bridegroom in this Service are the only words in English throughout the MS.)

Mr. Maskell says :“Explained in the margin of the Sarum manual, printed at Douay in 1604, 'bonair and buxom’—'meeke,' 'obedient.’ Compare in the Golden Litany, ‘By thy infinite buxomness, have mercy on us’ (Mon. Rit., Vol. i, 57).” The reason is given for the ring being placed on the bride’s fourth finger, “because in the middle of it is a vein proceeding straight to the heart.” The wedded pair are prostrate at the altar step while the prayers are said. At the Mass which follows they go into the sanctuary, between the choir and the altar, at the south side of the church, and the woman is now placed at the right of the man, between him and the altar. The Mass of the Holy Trinity is said. And a note says : “ Note, that the odour of blessed incense is never given in the Church to the bridegroom and bride. Hence it is that after the blessed incense is offered on the Altar, if the thurifer goes down to the clergy or laity, other incense is put down and offered to the clergy or laity.” After the Sanctus, the bridegroom and bride prostrate themselves at the step of the altar, and a veil is stretched over them, and held by four clerics in surplices at the four corners, unless either of them have been married before, in which case they do not have the veil nor the nuptial blessing, here called the “sacramental benediction.” This is given after the “ Pater noster” and before the “ Pax Domini.” After the Mass, bread and wine or some other drink are blessed in a little vessel, and they taste it “in the name of the Lord.”

“The following night, when the bridegroom and bride go to bed, let the priest come and bless the chamber, then the bed only, and then the bridegroom and bride in bed,” with three appropriate prayers. He then sprinkles them with holy water, and leaves them in peace. This last ceremony indicates great simplicity of manners.’

Contrary to what modern, depraved fancy might imagine, bonair and buxom did indeed have the innocent meanings that are given: see Post Scriptum below

What a perspective this provides on how marriage was once viewed...
 
I shall conclude with this, wondering whether the French included such words in the mother tongue for their traditional marriage ceremony. 
 
Very best wishes and prayers to you G., and your family.
 
Kindest regards,
 
P
 
 
Post Scriptum : Extracts from Complete OED on bonair and buxom
 

bonair: Well-bred, gentle, courteous, kind, complaisant. Cf. Older meanings of debonair : c1430

Pacient wyfes debonayre,

Whiche to her husbondes be nat contrayre.

 

buxom: the modern and popular association is only with "well-endowed" ladies; the OED gives the earlier meaning as: gracious, indulgent, favourable; obliging, amiable, courteous, affable, kindly. Amongst other citations it includes: c1380 Oure Ladi Marye..was..buxumer to his bidding þan ony hond-mayde.

+           +           +

GH to PB

I have not found any references to the medieval rituals of marriage in France, but there is no reason to think that they would have been different, since they still are the same.

For "la donation des corps" I would simply suggest "the gift of the bodies".

As for "bonere and buxum in bedde and at board", I would suggest "aimable et accueillante", in order to render the b alliteration by an a assonance. Why "accueillante" ? Because the idea behind the ritual phrase is that the woman must always offer an amiable behaviour and be ready to accept her husband's desires. And for the rest of the phrase, "au lit et dans le ménage". "Ménage" has a semantic field wide enough and vague enough to cover all aspects of married life. It implies "bed and breakfast" as well as the other aspects of married life.

Your text made me think of a medieval song about marriage, giving advice about the success of a "ménage", which says :

Nigaud, nigaud, nigaud, (Dummy, dummy, dummy)

Garde que tu feras (Watch out what you do !)

Garde-toi d'une femme (Beware a woman)

Qui te rechigneras (That will look sour and refuse your advances...).

Here I am expanding the translation because of the implicit in "rechigner", a verb that has entirely gone out of use, but which refers both to a facial expression and to snubbing.

I hope this helps. Please receive all my warmest wishes for you and your family.

All the best,

G.

👑       👑       👑

The Virgin of Tenderness. >12th century.

SUB tuum præsidium confugimus, Sancta Dei Genitrix. Nostras deprecationes ne despicias in necessitatibus, sed a periculis cunctis libera nos semper, Virgo gloriosa et benedicta. Amen. 

 

Totus tuus ego sum

Et omnia mea tua sunt;

Tecum semper tutus sum:

Ad Jesum per Mariam.