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| Please pray for the soul of Esther Clark. R.I.P. She gave a framed copy of this painting to the author in the 1980's. |
The work is offered on behalf of my family to Our Blessed Lady, Regina Martyrum et Consolatrix Afflictorum. For EEKPTEE&EA.
👈The Tears of St Peter (1587-1596)
El Greco (Domḗnikos Theotokópoulos) 1541-1614
Museo Soumaya at Plaza Carso, Mexico.
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I dare not say, I will, but wish I may;
My pride is checkt, high wordes the speaker spilt.
My good, O Lord, Thy gift, Thy strength my stay: [765]
Give what Thou bidst, and then bid what Thou wilt.
Worke with me what Thou of me dos’t request,
Then will I dare the most, and vow the best.
I dare not say “I will,” but I know in my heart I really want to. My pride has rightly been rebuked and needs to be kept in check. It was pride's high-sounding words that brought about the ruin of my soul.
All that is good and beneficial for me, O Lord, comes as a gift from Thee; all that I need to support me and keep me steady comes from Thy strength.
Grant me what I need to do Thy bidding and then bid me do what Thou wilt. Work a miracle within me so that Thy will may be done. Then, O Lord, I will dare even to the utmost and vow to do what is best in Thine eyes.
763. but wish I may. Two possible meanings are: 1. but I wish that I could say “I will”; or 2. but I can say that I wish to say “I will”. The syntax permits either or both interpretations. Peter cannot yet bring himself to utter the words “I will”; but he knows that he wants (or wishes) to do so.
764. My pride is checkt. These words, following on from “I dare not say” in 762. & 763., reflect a fear on the part of Peter that, in his pride, he will yet again fall short in translating his “high wordes” words into action.
checkt. checked. Check. 1. To reproach, taunt, revile. To rebuke, reprove, reprimand. 1590 E. Webbe Rare & Wonderfull Things (new ed.) sig. Dv With these speeches they did checke me, and I saide, that I trusted God..would defend my prince better, then to deliuer her into the handes of her enimies, wherefore they did greatly reuile me.
2. To restrain, control.To stop. a1616 W. Shakespeare Two Gentlemen of Verona (1623) ii. iv. 211 If I can checke my erring loue, I will, If not, to compasse her Ile vse my skill.
high wordes. See, for example his declaration after the Last Supper:
“And Peter answering, said to him: Although all shall be scandalized in thee, I will never be scandalized. Jesus said to him: Amen I say to thee, that in this night before the cock crow, thou wilt deny me thrice. Peter saith to him: Yea, though I should die with thee, I will not deny thee.” [Matt. xxvi. 33-35]
spilt. Spill. 1. To destroy by depriving of life; to put (or bring) to death; l. 1575 J. Rolland Treat. Court Venus iii. f. 36v Quhilk spilt hir self for luif of Pyramus. To destroy or ruin (the soul) by offending, or causing to offend, against moral laws. 1556 in W. H. Turner Select. Rec. Oxf. (1880) 246 Other..lamented, to see him spill his soul, wretchedly.
2. To allow or cause (a liquid) to fall, pour, or run out. Figurative. In quot. 1577 = ‘to divulge, let out’; (see sense 16a for 20th-c use). 1577 E. Hellowes tr. A. de Guevara Familiar Epist. (new ed.) 257 Although it be a shame to spill [1574 spoyle, ?1575 spell] it, I will not leaue to say that which..his friendes haue said vnto me.
high wordes the speaker spilt. There are two senses here, deriving from the two meanings of spilt and the two ways of reading the word order, i.e., 1. high wordes spilt the speaker and 2. the speaker spilt high wordes.
765. good. n. That which is good or beneficial; that which is morally right or virtuous; righteousness. The good aspect or part of anything; the good, virtuous, or beneficial qualities in something. Cf. goodness. 1509 S. Hawes Pastime of Pleasure (1845) vi. 26 It is alwaye at mannes pleasaunce To take the good and caste the evyll under.
The welfare or benefit of a person, group, etc.; well-being, happiness, prosperity. 1579 J. Knewstub Confut. Heresies f. 45v For his owne good and benefite.
stay. Something that supports or steadies something else; figurative. A thing or a person that affords support; an object of reliance. 1560 Bible (Geneva) Isa. iii. 1 For lo, the Lord God of hostes wil take away from Ierusalem and from Iudah the stay and the strength: euen all the stay of bread, and all the stay of water.
1563 2nd Tome Homelyes Matrimony sig. X.xxxiv For there is no stronger defence and staye in all our lyfe, then is prayer.
bid. To command, enjoin, order, tell with authority.
1535 Bible (Coverdale) 2 Kings iv. 24 Do as I byd the.1597 W. Shakespeare Richard II i. i. 163 Obedience bids I should not bid againe.1600 W. Shakespeare Much Ado about Nothing iii. iii. 30 He wil not stand when he is bidden . View more context for this quotationa1616 W. Shakespeare All's Well that ends Well (1623) iv. ii. 54 Ile be bid by thee.
767. Worke. Work. v. transitive. To cause, bring about, produce as a result; to accomplish, achieve, attain. To act in order to bring (something) about; to make (an outcome) happen; to plan, devise, contrive. Also: to manage or contrive (a matter or situation) so as to achieve a particular result. 1561 T. Hoby tr. B. Castiglione Courtyer ii. sig. M.i He ought to worke the matter wisely.
1621 J. Taylor Unnaturall Father in Wks. (1630) ii. 137/2 He resolued to worke some meanes to take away their..liues.
768. dare. v. transitive. To dare to undertake or do; to venture upon, have courage for, face. 1631 T. May tr. J. Barclay Mirrour of Mindes ii. 135 To dare all things, but nothing too much.
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Prone looke, crost armes, bent knee, and contrite hart,
Deepe sighs, thicke sobs, dew’d eyes and prostrate praiers, [770]
Most humbly beg releafe of earned smart,
And saving shroud in mercies sweete repaires.
If justice should my wrongs with rigor wage:
Feares, would despaires: ruth, breed a hopelesse rage.
With downcast eyes and arms crossed, on bended knee and with a contrite heart, with deep sighs, much sobbing and eyes wet with tears, I offer a most humble prayer: to implore that I may be delivered from the pain sin brought upon me, and that I may be healed and kept safe by Thy sweet and tender mercy.
If I were to pay the price for my sins strictly according to justice, then fear would drive me to despair and, in the absence of any hope, remorse would make me lose my mind.
769. Prone. 1. Having a downward aspect or direction; Of (the posture or attitude of) a person or animal: such that the belly is next to the ground, or lies beneath the body; lying face downwards or on one's belly; Also figurative. 1610 G. Fletcher Christs Victorie 30 He lowted lowe With prone obeysance.
2. Ready in mind (for some action expressed or implied); eager, willing. 1553 T. Wilson Arte of Rhetorique i. f. 2v Though..our will [be] prone, yet our fleshe is so heauie.
crost. crossed.
bent knee. Consider the examples given in Scripture:
“Now when Daniel knew this, that is to say, that the law was made, he went into his house: and opening the windows in his upper chamber towards Jerusalem, he knelt down three times a day, and adored, and gave thanks before his God, as he had been accustomed to do before.” [Daniel vi. 10]“For every knee shall be bowed to me, and every tongue shall swear.” [Isaias (Isaiah) xlv. 24]“That in the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those that are in heaven, on earth, and under the earth:” [Philippians ii. 10]
hart. heart.
770. thicke sobs, dew’d eyes. This line recalls the words of the Gospel:
“And Peter remembered the word of Jesus which he had said: Before the cock crow, thou wilt deny me thrice. And going forth, he wept bitterly.” [Matthew 26:75]“And Peter going out, wept bitterly.” [Luke 22:62]
thicke. thick. Of actions: Occurring in quick succession; rapid, frequent. a1616 W. Shakespeare Cymbeline (1623) i. vi. 68 He furnaces The thicke sighes from him.
dew’d. dewed. dew. transitive. To wet with or as with dew; to bedew; to moisten. a1616 W. Shakespeare Henry VI, Pt. 2 (1623) iii. ii. 344 Giue me thy hand, That I may dew it with my mournfull teares. 1552 R. Huloet Abcedarium Anglico Latinum Dewed or wete wyth dewe, roratus. 1593 R. Southwell St. Peter's Complaint 33 Dew'd eyes, and prostrate prayers.
prostrate. figurative and in figurative contexts. Laid low in mind or spirit; submissive or abject; 1591 E. Spenser Virgil's Gnat in Complaints sig. K2v For loftie type of honour..is downe in dust prostrate. a1616 W. Shakespeare Henry VI, Pt. 1 (1623) i. iii. 96 Looke gracious on thy prostrate Thrall.
praiers. prayers.
771. releafe. Alleviation of or deliverance from distress, anxiety, or some other emotional burden; 1601 J. Marston et al. Iacke Drums Entertainm. ii. sig. D4v Thats the best reliefe: To drowne all care, and ouerwhelme all griefe.
smart. Sharp, often intense, physical pain, esp. such as is caused by an external agency (a blow, sting, etc.) a1530 W. Bonde Pylgrimage of Perfeccyon (1531) iii. f. CCiiiiv He suffred the sharpnes & smart of payne, ye suche as neuer was suffred.
772. shroud. Cf. line 745., where Peter talks of his soul's funeral, saying that his "shroud" is "self-contempt." Here, the sense may rather derive from: A place or dwelling which affords shelter; a retreat; a shelter. A thing serving as a covering or protection; a defence; a covering, screen, veil. 1576 G. Gascoigne Complaynt of Phylomene in Steele Glas sig. Mv Vnto a selly shrowde, A sheepecote closely builte Amid the woodds.
repaires. repair. 1. A place to which a person (or animal) goes or travels, esp. habitually or frequently; a dwelling place, an abode; a usual meeting place, a haunt. a1500 (▸?c1450) Merlin 669 (MED) The catte hadde ther his repeire and was ther slain.
2. The action of repairing a damaged, worn, or faulty object or structure by replacing or fixing parts. 1524 R. Copland tr. J. de Bourbon Syege Cyte of Rodes in Begynnynge Ordre Knyghtes Hospytallers sig. Cv The sayd bulwarke was goten and recouered agayne, and with all dylygence were made new repayres & strengthes to the sayd place.
773. wage. To pay wages to. To reward for something done. 1562 Certayn Serm. preached in Lincs. in H. Latimer 27 Serm. ii. f. 104 At oure tyme, phisike is a remedy prepared only for riche folkes, not for poore: for the poore man is not able to wage the phisicion.
774. When the compressed syntax is opened up, it reads: Feares would breed despaires: ruth (would) breed a hopelesse rage.
ruth. Contrition, repentance; remorse. Vid. ?a1603 E. Grymeston Miscelanea (1604) sig. F4v Thou pardon promisest Where hearts true ruth is showne. Sorrow, grief, distress; lamentation. 1591 E. Spenser tr. Petrarch Visions ii, in Complaints sig. Z2 O how great ruth and sorrowfull assay, Doth vex my spirite with perplexitie.
rage. 1. Violent anger, fury. 1575 U. Fulwell Flower of Fame f. 27v I can not scuse his rage and hautie pride, That forced mee my vnkle to offende.
2. Madness, insanity; a fit or attack of madness. 1608 W. Shakespeare King Lear xxi. 76 Be comforted good Madame, the great rage you see is cured in him.
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Totus tuus ego sum
Et omnia mea tua sunt;
Tecum semper tutus sum:
Ad Jesum per Mariam.
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